What do you do when you don't have the key

Today was another intense day. The importance and lack of medication in Haiti is a major issue that has to be addressed. A lot of patients have the issue of hypertension and high blood pressure. Most of the patients today encountered a stroke that has left them paralyzed. It was just the most heartbreaking thing because this could have been prevented. The root of the issue is the lack of importance placed on taking medicine and remaining calm. As Dr. Close explained to me, the patients are used to dealing with issues that “go away” such as infections. However, the patients do not understand that high blood pressure and hypertension do not go away. As a result, the patients do not understand that they have to come back and get more medication once their medication is finished. They think that once their pill bottle is empty, their problem has gone away. This is not true. But another problem is the lack of access to the medication. These patients do not have the money for this medication and they are facing the consequences for it. It was heartbreaking to see a father who can barely talk or walk and tell his daughters that he will need a lot of love and support at home. His daughters told me that it has been months since he has taken his medication and he complained of headaches all last week and blacked out this morning.

It has been an interesting experience understanding how patients with diabetes manage. They tell the doctor how the stress of not having a job has factored into them not eating and following their regime. Some patients struggle with not having access to insulin. There was another patient whose needed dialysis in Port Au Prince—an entire three hours away. The distance was a roadblock and the lack of funds was a roadblock too. It is tough seeing patients who could be treated and healthy but are so far away from medicine that could change their lives.

When the possibilities are actually endless..

When I first received my project from Rachel, or project coordinator from HAS, she said, “You can make this project as big or as small that you want it to be.” These words have echoed in my air every time I seek to start up my laptop. Here is picture of me at my office desk:

My office space, like my project will not be confined— it being as wide or as small as I want it to be.

I never believed in boundaries because they have to be set. In terms of a dream or goal, I believe that they sky is always the limit. There is power in determining your future and clarifying the details of your “limitations.” I have always been asked the question about what pushes me, or motivates me? This question always stumps because I never know what to say. It seems like when the question is asked, the secret of the world is trying to be discovered. Overall, what pushes me is my desire to transcend beyond the boundaries that is placed upon me. I never want to feel sad or misplaced because of the circumstances that have inflicted upon me. I seek to rise above and soar over. This statement is easier said then down because I often experience so much pushback in doing-so. The real test of persistence is when the “push-back” occurs. What about my pushback? That is the real question. I might sit at my desk, but I know that my work transcends beyond any four walls because I can make this project as big or as small that I want it to be. My “push-back” is my product. The stuff that is occurs after the equal sign. Like folks say back home “The proof is in the pudding.” In time, my pushback is in the pudding. I know everything that I am saying may seem cryptic— it should be. Currently, I am still working on the details and ironing out the kinks.

When I see my desk in the SCI center, I am happy. I have nice fan that blows cool air over the warm air that often evades into the corners the SCI center. Often times, a lot of community members stop by desk thinking that I am the one that has the answer to their question. I wish I had the answer to their question, but I do not.